Authored by: Mr. Guan Xianbin, Director of Curriculum and Training at the Financial Literacy Education Association.
Parents always hope that their children can become optimistic, positive, and confident individuals. However, in today’s world, there are increasingly more children who struggle with feelings of inferiority. As parents, how should we confront this issue? In fact, there are four methods that can be considered to help build confidence in children.
1. Identify the Causes and Provide Targeted Solutions
Many children’s feelings of inferiority do not stem from innate qualities but are often a result of misguided teachings from adults. Psychologists point out that many elementary and middle school students have weak self-awareness, often evaluating themselves based on the opinions of adults. Even when they form independent opinions, these are often one-sided.
During this crucial period, if teachers and parents assess a child’s abilities improperly, it can harm their self-esteem and confidence, leading to feelings of inferiority. Moreover, some parents excessively criticize their children’s behaviors, constantly nagging and providing non-stop commentary. This type of excessive evaluation can also contribute to a child’s sense of inferiority. Additionally, children who struggle with poor academic performance or subpar physical health may also experience feelings of inferiority. Therefore, when a child experiences feelings of inferiority, it is crucial to first analyze the underlying reasons.
2. Appropriate Demands and Reasonable Evaluation
When parents help their children overcome feelings of inferiority, it is crucial to understand their abilities and level, set appropriate demands, and provide reasonable evaluations. For instance, if a child consistently fails exams, parents can initially ask them to strive for a passing grade in a particular subject. If the child meets this requirement, parents should affirm and encourage them, then set further expectations.
Throughout this process, parents should not worry about setbacks or be overly hasty. They should acknowledge the child’s effort, patiently analyze the reasons for setbacks, and encourage the child to give their best. Only by doing so can children see their progress step by step, witness the results of their hard work, build confidence, and overcome feelings of inferiority.
3. Broaden Perspectives and Increase Knowledge
Children who feel inferior often have a lack of knowledge and exposure. When children of similar ages gather, some engage in lively conversations while others remain silent due to their limited knowledge, feeling inferior compared to their peers. Therefore, parents should consciously enrich their children’s knowledge, broaden their horizons, and enhance their various abilities.
Parents can guide their children in reading, take them on educational outings, and provide opportunities for exploration. By helping children feel knowledgeable, capable, and not inferior to others, they will gradually diminish their internal feelings of inferiority.
4. Implementing Ingenious Methods and Providing Encouragement
When parents help their children overcome feelings of inferiority, it is crucial to respect and protect their self-esteem. For instance, if a child performs poorly in an exam, parents should empathize with the child’s feelings, put themselves in their shoes, help analyze the reasons, and rationally devise solutions, avoiding overly emotional responses such as sarcasm, ridicule, blame, or complaints.
Criticism often yields little benefit for children struggling with feelings of inferiority. On the contrary, praise and encouragement can often produce unexpected results. Therefore, when a child makes progress, parents should promptly praise and encourage them; when a child faces challenges, parents should acknowledge the positive aspects. This approach not only helps children rebuild their confidence to overcome difficulties but also strengthens the bond between generations, achieving multiple positive outcomes simultaneously.